****disclaimer…..I started writing and well……It’s a long one….. =)
As little girls, we dream about our fairytale life (or play M.A.S.H.). Someday, our prince charming will sweep us off our feet, whisk us off into the golden sunset, and live happily ever after. At some point in our adolescence we realize that Cinderella isn’t real life…..last I checked the mice in my garage weren’t doing any sewing and the Halloween pumpkin has completely rotted in the compost…., but even as grown adults, we can’t help but get caught up in romantic novels and movies.
Who doesn’t love a good romantic comedy? You laugh, you cry, you laugh some more……all the feels, am I right? You put yourself in that movie (‘cmon, I’m not the only one). You know that no matter what the ups and downs, the guy and girl always make it to “happily every after” (gag)…… Makes for a great movie….doesn’t make for great reality. NEWSFLASH: The perfect wife/mom doesn’t exist in real life! As much as you want your favorite movie to be your reality, it’s not happening!
If there is one thing I have learned in the last 3 1/2 years (more really, that’s just since things hit rock bottom), it’s that I cannot control 100% of my story. I can control MY part of my story, but I cannot write the script for others in my life. Thinking that the “happily ever after” in my head is going to play out in real life sets me up for failure every time! I have to create my own happily ever.
The not so Happily Ever After…
You finally get to the big day. The music plays “Here Comes the Bride” to a church full of family and friends. You kiss and exit a “happily married couple”……..and the movie ends………Yay! All the happy feels, right? WRONG! That’s why the movie ended!!! You’re supposed to play out the rest of the story in your head. They have the perfect happy marriage “till death do us part”. Let me shatter that fantasy for you………Marriage is hard…..REAL HARD! I’ll quote the pastor from my church who said in a sermon, “no matter who you think you are marrying on your wedding day, you are actually marrying a complete stranger.” People change. Life happens. Experiences make us take a new perspective on life. We are not the same person we were 5 years ago or will be in 5 more years. It takes work to make a marriage last….HARD WORK!
Love is a Mine Field
The mine field of love….you may think the battle is won when you say “I do”. Victory is celebrated with a party, cake, flowers, and of course the dress (and ring) of your dreams. Reality….the battle is only starting. Your wedding day is like knocking on Satan’s door and asking him go and hide the land mines. We have to watch our step, tread lightly, and if by chance we set one of those hidden mines off, hope the damage isn’t too much for the other to bear. Most of the time, our unrealistic expectations blind us to the bullets flying around. We have to conquer that war over and over again with grace, forgiveness and faith to make it last. And you have to be on the same team. You have to fight Satan, not each other. If you try any other way, it will fail! Marriage isn’t 50/50, it’s 100/100. And when the going gets tough and there’s a wounded soldier only giving 50%, or even nothing at all……..If you want it to last, you’d better pick up the slack until that wounded solider is healed and ready to fight again!
Satan’s Plan
Satan knows that God hates divorce. Marriage forever is God’s plan. The enemy will stop at nothing to destroy any bit of Christlikeness in this world. The enemy (Satan) sees our vision of the fairytale as his “in”. He wants us to think that marriage (and our spouse) is a way to fulfill our unmet needs and desires, live the dream sold in romantic comedies, check the boxes off our “goals” list, or to actually get our lives together. The reality is that our
desires cannot be met when we place ultimate hope in our spouse or marriage. We are human…we fail every day, resulting in disappointment and h
urt! The enemy will win unless we focus on the final destination: God himself!
The Best Love Story…
Yes, the romantic comedy is much better picture than the minefield. No one wants to think marriage is a battle ground. We want the knight in shining armor to rescue us…………
Guess what? You have a knight in shining armor, except he’s actually a carpenter riding a donkey, and he never fails…ever! Jesus will beat the odds and win the war! Jesus will save us from our sins and distress! We are Princess Aurora and Jesus is the prince that brings us back to life with his kiss! Or maybe you are
the prince whose hardened heart has him trapped inside the Beast…Belle Jesus to the rescue!
We think our marriages are meant to complete us and all of our little earthly desires. The truth is, we will only be completely happy when we build our marriages with God as our “knight”.
Excellent and well written!
True stuff written here. Satan is definitely in the marriage wrecking business. I tell people if you have the love the size of a mustard seed you need to fight for your marriage! Good job Elizabeth for sharing your story. God is always faithful, we just have to reach out to him.
Love it! Very well written.