I’ve been substitute teaching high school music this week. High school seems like a lifetime ago and yesterday all at the same time. High school was great! Friends, fun, activities, and very little real responsibility (besides grades). And yet, at the time, we were all so ready to “grow up”. I had some down time where I could sit back, observe, listen, think, and hold back tears because it hit me….these are kids……I have kids!
Kids
I think I’ve gone through this whole parenting thing with blinders on. My kids are going to stay “kids” forever. They are going to stay little and cute and funny and……and then it hit me OH NO, they are going to be big kids….like these high schoolers….. thank goodness I have few more years to wrap my head around this. I’m not ready!
Step Kids
My step children are older. One is a high school junior, one is in 8th grade, and another in 6th, but it’s different. They were bigger when they came into my life. They were never toddlers around me. I never changed diapers, nursed them, rocked them to sleep. I never got to put bows in my step daughters’ hair or help my step son tie his shoes (oh wait, I actually may have done that since he was my kindergarten student)…I didn’t wipe his boogers (who knows…I may have done that, too. Kindergartners are gross!)
The entire time my three stepchildren have been in my life, they have been independent. They’ve never really needed me for “kid” things. I’m sure I’ll find other stages of their life harder to wrap my head around, like driving and dating, but them being “big kids” or “young adults” is just normal to me. I’ll be honest with you. It was hard really hard at first because I only knew how to do little kids….I’ve adjusted, or I’m at least doing the best I can.
My Kids
My kids….they aren’t going to be that size, are they? They aren’t going to be high schoolers. These “kids” are bigger than me! I have an almost 12 year old. How is he going to be one of these high school boys in just a few short years? I won’t let it happen! I was just playing “Piney” (Thomas) the “chee chee” (choo choo) with him. His chee chee’s said choo choo…silly boy. Some of these boys think they’re “all that and a bag of chips” (HA! I had to go back to my HS lingo). Not my sweet boy! He’s going to be sweet, innocent, and pure forever…..right?
I do get it. It’s going to happen. I adjusted from the baby stage to elementary stage. I’ll adjust to high school, I think. I’m just in denial. I’m realizing more and more how fast time goes. It’s so important to cherish the little moments and not get so worked up and bent out of shape about the not so fun stuff. I’m learning…..Slowly. It takes a while to sink in. (blonde roots run deep)
A blast from my past…
I have a vivid memory of a moment in my previous marriage. We were visiting my sister in law (at that time). Between us there were 5 children under the age of 6 running/crawling/screaming/crying/spilling milk and goldfish/etc. around her kitchen island. Her husband (at that time) started snarkily singing “you’re gonna miss this”. I thought my SIL was going to throw something at him. He was being funny, but in the moment it she wasn’t up for jokes and took it as being a jerk. I was young at the time and didn’t really think too much about it. As I’ve aged, I’ve started to realize something. He was right! As funny as he was trying to be and as much of a jerk he seemed to be. He was right! Laugh it off. Life’s too short to be upset over spilled milk. Time goes entirely too fast!
You’re Gonna Miss This
“You’re gonna miss this. You’re gonna want this back. You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast….”
Here’s the full version. Grab a tissue. I’ve bawled my eyes out listening to it today. I’m kinda wishing there was someone singing this to 18 year old me (or maybe there was and I didn’t listen…..) and then I wouldn’t have my 3 older babies and that would be sad. Life’s full of learning, isn’t it?
“you may not know it now….but you’re gonna miss this”
